A POLITICALLY CORRECT DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE
“Let us look at the Declaration [of Independence] and examine just how it would fare today in our sanitized, politically correct, please do not dare say anything which can possibly ever be construed in any way to even come close to offending anyone world.
“ We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men.....” Hold it! Men? You can not say men this is obviously sexist and exclusive. Have to change that line immediately. How about instead of men we say all men, women, children, blondes, red heads, brunettes, African-Americans, Asian-Americans, Hispanic-Americans, left-handed persons of color, right-handed persons of color, and so on and so on until we include every possible group of people imaginable.
OK, now back to the Declaration. “... are created equal....” CUT! Created? Certainly can never ever say created because that implies there is a creator and that is just another word for God and Jefferson better stop pushing his Christianity down our throats. So instead of are created equal let us just say are equal. OK better, now back to re-writing the Declaration. “.... are equal, that they are endowed by their Creator ...” Hold it! Didn’t we just cover this? Creator is equal to God, and if Jefferson continues to push his intolerant religion then the ACLU will sue him and save us all. Let us say instead “are endowed by their own personal creator, or no creator at all if they are atheist or agnostic.” Better!